Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
