Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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