have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
