Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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