Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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