Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
