If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Green mimosas i think yes
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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