Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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