u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
