Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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