For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
