I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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