This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
