Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
