My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
