i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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