How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
