Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
