ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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