There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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