the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
