Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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