Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
