I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
