All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
