from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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