I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
