I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Success! We fucked roommates!
A bitchslap is in order.
try to milk me bitch
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
