Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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