Already got asked if we're dating
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
