K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
