There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
They have beer where we have blood.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
