YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
