Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
