She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
me + whiskey = a bad person
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
