my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
