I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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