So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
