I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
