so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
