Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize