I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
