If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Randomize
