At least make sure they are 18
Why
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
