I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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