Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
