Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
