The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize