My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
