porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
try to milk me bitch
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