one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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