My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You are the jesus of drinking
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
