My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
