i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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