so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
