i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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