you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
