You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
