He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
