I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
