Dual....:-)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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