you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
