i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
