idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
