dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
