they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Drunk is not a location!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
