Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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